Notes from Underground is the first and shortest of Dostoevsky's novels. I was too scared to attempt any of his longer and more challenging publications, but will definitely be reading them in the future now that I've wetted my feet in the plunge pool that is 19th century Russian literature.
In hindsight, it would have helped if I understood the political climate during which this book was written, since its purpose was to criticize the beliefs of the time. In the 1860s, Russia was beginning to rapidly adopt Western ideas, among which was the idea of the collectivist utopia (Marx published the Communist Manifesto in 1848). Dostoevsky seeks to lambaste the socialist ideals widely held by Russian intellectuals at the time by exposing the nature of human irrationality.
Notes from Underground, much like The Mezzanine, is written as a stream of conscience from an anonymous protagonist. However, unlike The Mezzanine, reading this book was an emotional roller coaster. The first thing I noticed was the extraordinary amount of cognitive dissonance present in the narrator's mind. One moment he's on a Quixotic* crusade against himself, believing that he is the cause of all his miseries. But on the very next page, he tyrades against his acquaintances and comrades, blaming them instead. I saw many of my own problems and insecurities present in the man, but was never able to fully empathize with him because he also had other thoughts that I found absolutely despicable.
My main takeaway is that a person will always cling to the belief that they are in control of their own life, so much so that if they feel they are losing control, they may do something utterly stupid and irrational just to prove to themselves that they in fact still retain this control. It amazes me to think human beings were capable of producing such fascinating literature without the use of the internet, let alone ChatGPT**, and that translators were able to preserve its beauty using the English language. I almost want to learn Russian just so I can read the original text!
IRL Update: I made slow and steady progress with this book throughout midterm season. It was a tough read and I'm proud of myself for finishing. The next few books I plan on reading are non-fiction.
*I've always wanted to use that word!
**By the way, not a single word on this website is written with the help of AI, and I plan to keep it that way.